Is Anything Worth it
by LiveOnTheEdge
Summary: To others it seems like Lily Evans and James Potter always disliked eachother. But there was one day, that they both remember, that it took a turn for the worst.
1. Default Chapter

**Lily and the Marauders are in 4th year for this chapter. This is just a bit of background as to why Lily finds James and the rest of the Marauders so repulsive. In addition, to why James almost uses his asking out Lily like a joke. After this chapter, the story will be set in 6th year.**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own anything affiliated with Harry Potter.**

**Written on: January 22, 2005**

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_In addition, if you were to cut the roots in half…common ingredient in potions…certain glove types required… foul odor…_

_SLAM_

Lily Evans jumped at how loud the book had been when she snapped it shut. It had certainly woke her up, which she desperately needed. She leaned her forehead in her palms and sighed. She had had a very long night of studying; she glanced around the quiet library realizing that only a few 7th years and she remained. She looked down at her spare parchments crumpled under piles of books. She was about to scoop up all those heavy books when instead she just muttered 'forget it' under her breath and slipped some of the used parchments into her book bag and swung it over her shoulder, leaving a great mess at the table.

Walking out she noticed her good friend Alice coming from the dungeons, looking probably just as flustered as Lily did.

'Hi Alice, how did your detention with Professor Hellebore go?' Lily smiled at her friend who was struggling to fit one last Herbology book into her bag.

'Oh, I have way bigger news than _that_,' She said finally just tucking the thick book under her arm and smiling widely.

'Oh yeah? And what would that be?' Lily asked still smiling, happy to have some company.

'Rumor has it that _James Potter_ really fancies you.' She said shrilly grabbing onto Lily's wrist. Lily's smile faded, and she looked at her while she smiled big and wide. Lily raised an eyebrow and snorted her laughter.

'James Potter? James Potter, the jerk who set fire to his Potion this morning?' Lily almost burst out laughing. James was the popular Marauder along with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, all of which were good looking, popular and obnoxious. Somewhere deep down in side of Lily, she knew that she found their pranks funny when they were not at her expense, but she would never admit it. Never.

'Yes,' Alice said smiling and dragging Lily on. 'James Potter one of the best looking guys in our year, James Potter.' Alice added, as if she did not hear what Lily had previously said. Lily had to admit to herself that she felt rather, happy. Her stomach was jumping around at the thought that all the times James had teased her, made fun of her, laughed at her, that he actually liked her. Thought she was pretty and maybe sometimes when he and Sirius were whispering around her, looking at her out of the corner of their eyes, that they were in fact talking about James liking her. Maybe going on a date with her, she smiled at this.

'Do you like him?' Alice pushed the subject into Lily's head.

Lily frowned. 'Oh, no.' Lily said, and looked down at her feet, which were going up the steps. She…didn't really. He wasn't the type of boy she wanted to date. Lily dated boys that were quiet, and nice to everyone. Boys that had been nice to her her whole stay at Hogwarts hoping maybe they would get their chance with her too. Boys who were cute and good in their studies and were…predictable. James was not any of those, none, except maybe… cute. Lily blushed at this.

'What?! Why not Lily! He's a real catch!' Alice said throwing her arms in the air.

'Come on Alice, you know just as good as I do that James Potter is a prat who will do anything to anyone just to stir up some excitement. You're just like all his girlfriends, judging his looks!' Lily said they were now standing in front of the portrait of the fat lady, which would lead them into their Gryffindor Common room. 'Canary Creams' Lily said and the portrait swung open so the two 4th year girls could walk in.

'So you know he's good looking!' Alice said, putting her books on a nearby table and looking Lily right in the eye.

'Oh Alice! Shut up, you missed the whole point of what I was saying!' Lily practically shrieked but a grin was trying to creep up to her face.

'I'm guessing you heard the news?' A pretty girl with long black hair said walking up to them. Alice and Lily knew her as another good friend of theirs, Phoenix Nomiki. She had dark grey eyes and often wore her long stick straight hair down as opposed to pulled back. She was only slightly taller than Lily and played on the Quidditch team as the keeper.

Alice Arista was another good friend of Lily's. She was often quiet around a large group, but she was becoming more comfortable with herself over the last four years. She had curly dark blonde hair that ended at her shoulders. She had a round face with rosy cheeks and dark brown eyes. She had not been friends with Lily for long, in fact they had only began talking at the end of last year.

Lily groaned. 'How did _you_ hear?' Phoenix smiled and sat on the armrest of a nearby couch.

'Kalonice was telling me about it.' She smiled and looked at Lily, 'She was the one who overheard the whole thing, everyone's talking about it.'

'Why?' Lily said looking from Phoenix to Alice, 'Why is it such a big deal that he likes me? He likes lots of girls, so what?'

'Yeah,' Alice started but was cut off by Phoenix.

'But you're the only girl who might turn him down' She stated. This was the truth, not many girls turned down James Potter. He was the Chaser on the Quidditch team; he had long dark raven hair that was almost always unbearably messy. He was popular, jinxing people in the halls for lack of anything better to do. He would stand up to anyone and put them in her place. Those are the things every girl loved about him, and those are the things that made Lily want to strangle him.

'She's right,' Alice said quietly, as if trying to remember another girl who had turned him down.

'No- well what about- remember when' the redhead brushed the hair out of her eyes flustered.

'Are you actually going to say no to him?' Phoenix asked raising her eyebrows after waving to a boy from the Quidditch team who had just walked in.

'Yes we are all dying to know Lily, will you turn down James Potter.' Lily spun around to see Sirius Black, followed by Remus and Peter, and the Quidditch team, explaining why Phoenix's hair was so messy. Sirius was still in his uniform and had his broomstick swung casually over his shoulder. Lily merely scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.

'What's it to you Sirius?' She asked quietly.

'Well, considering James is my best mate, it's a lot to me.' He smirked and continued walking, jumping up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

She turned around to her friends, anger plastered to her face, and burning like green flames in her eyes. Many people in the common room were looking at her, including her friends, who looked desperately for her answer.

Lily took a deep breath, about to yell at everyone to leave her alone, but instead turned quietly on her heel and went upstairs to the Girls' dormitories.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she brushed her long, thick hair absently.

Did Lily herself even know what she wanted?

Lily felt so happy when she had first found out. Now it seemed like a problem that had to be solved quickly before something came of it.

Sleep, and hope, was the only things that she could count on to help her make her decision. Hope, that maybe the question wouldn't pop until she was more ready.

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"Have you seen my bag?" Asked Phoenix with her wand sticking out of her mouth. Her long hair was not yet brushed, Lily could tell, through her half-opened eyes. She closed them tight, then opened them wide and swung her legs out of bed. She grabbed her robes she had set out the night before and began dressing.

"Actually," Alice said coming in from the Dormitory hall, "I saw it last night lying under Lily's bed." She pointed under the messy bed.

Lily was about to reach under and get it for her when Phoenix yelled "Accio bag" and the bag slid across the floor over to Phoenix.

"Thanks anyways Lils" She smiled "You better hurry its almost time for breakfast…" Phoenix said, and then grabbing her bag, left the room.

After Lily was fully dressed and Alice had come back in from the hall they set off together downstairs for breakfast.

Just outside the Great Hall, Phoenix was standing obviously waiting for them as she ran over and grabbed Lily by the shoulders.

"James is asking you on a date." She stated looking straight into Lily's eyes. Lily's stomach did a violent back flip and she looked around wildly. Phoenix wasn't smiling in the least bit. "But you have to say no."

"I _have_ to say no, now?" Lily asked raising her eyebrows. Phoenix nodded slowly and looked behind her before looking back at Lily.

"It's a prank. A joke. It is just another way to embarrass you. He's going to hex you or something. Everyone is talking about it in there. Trust me its all fake." With those words Lily no longer felt like she needed to smile. She frowned and looked a Phoenix, rolling her eyes.

"As if I was going to say yes in the first place." And with that Lily pushed her way past Phoenix and waltzed into the Great Hall.

"Are you sure it was a joke?" Alice asked watching her walk away with Phoenix.

"I'm positive, the guys on the team were talking about, I think they would know."

"Poor Lily." Alice said quietly.

"Poor James, now that Lily knows." Phoenix smirked at the thought of James finally being put in his place.

Lily sat down at the Gryffindor house table, about three spots away from anyone, and started pouring herself pumpkin juice. She looked around and noticed, to her satisfaction, that no one was really looking at her. No one was whispering and glancing hurriedly at her. No one was staring at her. It all just seemed…normal.

Phoenix and Alice came over quickly. Phoenix sat opposite her, and Alice on her left.

"Lily, you know maybe it isn't a joke. Maybe that's just some silly rumor." Alice said quietly, grabbing some toast.

Lily turned to look at her, eyes narrowed.

"It doesn't _matter_ Alice, I wasn't going to say yes. Even if it was not a joke, Potter isn't worth anyone's time. In addition, it is a joke, and all three of us know that. Agreed?"

Phoenix nodded and Alice just reached for the butter.

Phoenix's foot came in sharp contact with Alice's knee; she jumped and dropped her knife, blushing while she gave a questioning look at Phoenix.

Phoenix was staring at the entrance, which was behind Lily's head. And when Alice turned around she knew exactly what she was supposed to be looking at.

In came the Marauders, they were hard to miss, yelling insults at people, high-fiving boys, winking at girls. Lily of course had turned around now, knowing even before she saw, what they must have been looking at.

There was silence between the three of them, except for Lily's huffs as she cut up her ham.

About 2 spots down from Alice sat James and Peter, and 3 rows down from Phoenix sat Sirius and Remus. They paid no mind to the girls as they talked about the one time they hexed Filch into dancing in the Great Hall. Laughing and sputtering out the story, they acted as if life would not go on without them, Lily thought. They knew people looked at them as they came in and they loved it. Absolutely _loved_ it.

Lily deciding she did not want to sit in their presence any longer slammed down her fork and picked up her book bag. She swung it violently onto her shoulder.

"I'm going to go down to Transfiguration. I'll see you guys down there…" Her vivid emerald eyes darted from Phoenix to Alice.

"Okay see you Lils," Alice said and Phoenix was talking to a Ravenclaw boy about an upcoming Quidditch game, so she simply turned, nodded, and then turned back to the tall boy. Lily tuned and started to walk as swift and fast as she could out of the hall.

"James! James mate, she's leaving." Lily heard Sirius' voice shouting behind her. James cursed and then she heard his voice closing in behind her.

"Lily-Hey Lily! Hold on a second!" James was now about two steps behind her, and she knew the hall was silencing behind them. Lily was trying ever so hard to keep her head down and feet moving, but James grabbed her upper arm. She spun around and looked at him, her face so expressionless it was creepy.

"Um- Actually, I was-just-…Hi." James finished lamely, looking behind him Lily could see many of the heads turned to look at them. They all knew James was playing a joke on her, and tears pricked the corner of her eyes at the thought of her being hexed and laughed at in front of the whole school. She frowned at him, and started to walk away again.

"Wait Lily," He laughed, "I have more to say than that." He was a fair distance from her now. At the end of the Gryffindor Table and she was the end of the next table over, Hufflepuff.

"What is it Potter?" Her voice rather cracked and Sirius, Remus and Peter had walked up to stand behind James. Sirius was stuffing some sort of sandwich into his mouth, ripping off pieces and passing them to Remus as he watched the scene. His eyes were wide, staring straight at Lily. She knew they were probably all getting ready to pull their wands out as soon as he asked her.

"I was wondering, if you wanted to go on a date. Maybe to Hogsmede, I haven't checked yet- but I think one is coming up." He said turning his head to look around him, probably seeing just how much of an audience he had. "Or something else, you know, it doesn't matter." He grinned and was starting to walk closer to her. She began walking backwards away from him.

She let out a fake laugh, because there was no way she could give a real one right now.

"You wish Potter. In your dreams, maybe." She said coldly, she watched as his grin was slapped off his face and he just stared.

"But-Lily." She was already turned around and was stomping out of the Great Hall ignoring all the whispers around her. She thought for a second that maybe it wasn't a joke. She had not been hexed yet, and everyone seemed to be shocked rather then filled with suspense.

"Bloody hell, I didn't know Lily was such a-" Sirius began with a disgusted look on his face.

"It doesn't matter." James said firmly cutting off Sirius. "Who cares, really? She's not worth it. It doesn't matter."

"Your damn right she's not worth it." Sirius said bitterly. James looked at him briefly then turned back to go get his books.

"She should be worthy of this though, boys." He heard Sirius laugh, James whipped around so fast he knocked a younger boy's plate to the ground and all over his robes as well.

"OH MY GOD!" He heard Lily shriek. He watched wide eyed as her beautiful hair turned a bright green, very similar to her eyes. Sirius let out a bark of laughter along with Remus, Peter and the rest of the hall. James was half-ready to yell at Sirius for hexing the girl he wanted so badly, but instead remembering how incredibly harsh she was toward him, he laughed.

"Nice one Sirius," He said slapping him on the back.

"My god, it's hideous!" Sirius shouted loudly and the hall got ever louder.

Phoenix and Alice took off out of the Great Hall after Lily. While running past the boys Phoenix gave Sirius a good hard shove into James.

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**Well that was the Prologue to my story. The rest of the story will take place in 6th year will show how maybe her friends and classmates will be able to convince her that she actually broke James' heart that day in the Great Hall, and that it was not a joke. And that all those times he's been asking her out, he's secretly hoped once she will say yes.**

**Please Review if you think this should be more than a one-shot.**

**Peace and Love, **

**ox Mercedes ox**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own anything affiliated with Harry Potter.**

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Updated: Monday, November 21, 2005**  
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**Wow, I didn't know if I would ever update this again. But seeing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on Saturday sparked an interest. I hope everyone who reads this will review it for me, even if you don't like it. I like this chapter better than the last one. Anyways, please enjoy. **

** This takes place in 6th year**

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Phoenix ran towards Lily, arms and hair were whipping around. She still held the mangled snitch in her hand, the sign that Gryffindor had one. The truth is, Lily had missed when she caught it, Sirius had gotten into a fight with a Slytherin chaser, and Lily had been watching that. But, she did feel horribly guilty, and wouldn't tell Phoenix that she hadn't seen her moment of fame.

Phoenix's raven hair almost blinded Lily as she gave her a hug, her long slender arms nearly choking her, and she hugged back her back, laughing.

"I'm so happy for you!" Lily exclaimed, smiling at Phoenix. Her face was sweating, and blotchy, but she looked so happy. "I was scared you might have been hurt," Lily had caught the after-math of the victory, when Phoenix had narrowly dodged a bludger.

"Lily," Phoenix dragged the name out, exasperated. "You don't have to worry about me!" Lily knew this, Phoenix was smart, and she was resilient. She had, only at the beginning of this, their sixth year, changed to the position of Seeker in favor of Keeper.

"I know, I know-I'm sorry, Phoenix," Lily chuckled, "It, your catch, was brilliant. Good job." Lily smiled. Maybe she hadn't _really_ seen the catch, but of course it was brilliant.

"It really was brilliant," Sirius Black and James Potter had come up from behind her friend. Both looking equally as sweaty, and tired as Phoenix.

"Yeah Phoenix, congratulations on your timing. I really don't think it could have been better." James grinned, "Just as Sirius was preparing to dent little Bertie Macmillans pretty face in."

Sirius stroked his beaters' bat appreciatively muttering, "What would I do without you,"

"I wouldn't be too proud of your preformance," Lily said, and all eyes flicked to her. "You _barely _missed Madam Hooch's head with that bat of yours, I wouldn't be surprised if you are suspended from the next Quidditch game."

James laughed loudly and Sirius snorted, Phoenix just cracked a smile.

James clapped a hand to Phoenix's shoulder, "Come on, meeting in the dressing room,"

The three started to walk together but Sirius stopped.

"Prongs, I'll be there in a minute," He called, James nodded then smiled at Lily, which was not returned. But James wasn't put out by this in the least, he dealt with it everyday of his life.

"By the way Lily, you look absolutely gorgeous today." James smiled, before turning into the doorway with Phoenix. Her face formed the same frown it always did when she was given a compliment by the conceited James Potter.

"You know it would really be a shame if your face got stuck like that," Sirius smirked. Lily, having forgot he was there, stopped frowning.

There was a short silence where Lily adjusted her bag on her shoulder and Sirius was watching as people left the stands above.

"So tell me," Lily began, and Sirius' eyes snapped back to her, "Why do I have the pleasure of Sirius Black seeking to talk with me?"

Sirius gave his small crooked smirk.

"You know he loves you, don't you?"

Lily's stomach jolted when he said it, and she turned to look at the door where Phoenix and James had entered.

"What are you talking about Sirius?" She said, her voice soft.

"I'm talking about _James_, Lilith." Sirius laughed.

"I've told you, my name is Lily, and it's not short for anything-"

"Don't avoid the subject, why won't you give Prongs a chance?" Sirius said exasperated, and Lily crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why do you call him Prongs?" Lily's eyes narrowed.

Sirius gave a knowing smile, "Lily..."

"He does not _love_ me, Sirius. James just always wants what he can't have. We all know thats why he's the Chaser."

"Well, that's true actually, but you know, James wanted you before he couldn't have you. And he's so love sick, Lily, you don't know how tiring it is to listen to someone ramble on about you for two hours straight." Lily frowned again, her green eyes narrowing, and blazing.

"Look I'm not trying to get myself hexed here, it's just that I know if you stopped looking down on him all the time you'd see it too," Sirius said, while he pushed Lily's nose down with his finger, as if to say she always had her nose in the air. This would have angered her more had she not forgotten he was there again. She swatted his hand away absent-mindedly and twirled a peice of hair that had fallen out of her loose ponytail.

"Do you get what I'm saying?" Sirius' gray eyes filled with a kind of comprehension that she hadn't thought possible of the trouble maker. He raised his dark eyebrows and reached out to push her nose down again. This time she pushed his arm away more forcefully, and stared daggers at him. But they both knew that Sirius wasn't James. Maybe people compared the two leaders all the time, but when it came to Lily, the two boys weren't even in the same universe. And Sirius didn't even cower from the stare.

"The Lily death-glare, eh?" Sirius croaked, and Lily's face softened slighty. "This is how conversations about Prongs always turn out with you, huh?"

"You're a git, Black." Lily said, and shouldered him out of the way. Lily wasn't one to look back, but out of the corner of her eye she saw James watching at her from the door way to the dressing room.

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"Oh Lily, try not to look _too_ impressed." Alice hissed. Lily ignored her, it grated on her nerves when people would tell her she should be more fun at these Quidditch parties. They were loud, and yes, Lily did love them on the weekends, but a game was just a game. The team would be, no doubt, up until all hours of the morning celebrating a victory that was of no great importance. Except that it signafies Gryffindor 1-Slytherin 0 in yet another year of the petty rivalry.

Lily looked back to see Phoenix talking to Sirius Black and Loudres Finnigan, a 7th year Keeper. Phoenix saw her looking and waved her over. Lily complied and went to grab a Butterbeer from the table behind them.

James Potter and Peter Pettigrew stood across the table a few feet away. James turned hastily to stare at her while she looked for the bottle opener. James must of realized this and her grabbed it from the table and slid it down to her smiling. Lily however, refused to look him in the eye and reached gracefully for the heavy metal opener.

"What are you staring at?" Lily said, finally looking up at James. His grinned widened.

"You."

"Way to play 'hard-to-get' Potter..." Lily said, opening her Butterbeer with more force than was necassary.

"I've never been one to play mind games," James smirked and began to follow Lily as she tried to walk away.

"Oh, do tell why." Lily uttered.

"That's simple. I'm irresistible without them." James declared, the whole time he would not take his eyes off of Lily.

"Oh, you are really fully of it." She hissed and tried to get past him towards the portrait hole, which he blocked off, and leaned against it.

"If by 'it' you mean charm, then my plan is working."

"I am going to ignore your last vaunting comment, and inquire what said plan is." Lily said dangerously.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Oh, James knew nothing about women.

"Actually, you're wrong. I couldn't care less." Lily said, set her Butterbeer down and made to walk towards the girls dormitories.

"You're going to fall madly in love with me, Evans." James called loudly across the crowded Common Room. Things quieted slightly and Lily made sure she did not show any sign of interest in his statement. "You see, I have this theory about you."

"Don't do it Prongs!" Sirius warned from the table where this conversation had started.

James ignored this and continued on. The room was almost quiet now, except for a younger group of boys telling jokes around the fire. "I think that you're just scared. I wouldn't pin you as a girl to judge a book by it's cover. But I can't-"

Lily was stomping towards him now, and James locked eyes with her. He stared smugly, until she got close enough to him that she could still yell without the entire room listening. James did these things because he wanted the attention, and the last thing she was going to was let him have it.

"Whats the matter, Evans? Scared that I know exactly how you feel about me?"

"Don't you dare assume something like that. I don't know where you get 'I'm scared to love you' out of 'you're a caustic, self-glorifying, egotistical prick', but congratulations. You're big head has become so inflated that you have flown yourself to your own, self-centered world!" Lily screamed, poking him hard in the chest.

"What else am I supposed to do Lily?" James spoke quietly now, and Lily immediately noted the use of her first name, "I-you don't even..." He faultered.

"You're lost for words now! Go on Potter, tell me how great you are. _Convince_ me. Then have your trusted friends come over and vouch for it. Ask me out again in front of everybody, and get rejected. But somehow it slides right over that big head of yours. You act like nothing matters to you, so why in bloody hell would I think I mean more to you than the second years you hexed at lunch?"

"You're right. Oh, great and powerful Lily Evans has me completely figured out. How does she do it!" He asked in mock amazement, to the others in the room who were trying to ignore the spectical. "She won't have a conversation with you, oh no, no, no. Because as soon as she lays eyes on you, if you should be so lucky, she-"

"So tell me Potter, if _I _ never give you a chance to talk to me then how is it that you're in love with me? How do you know that we are meant to spend the rest of our lives together if we 'barely know eachother'?" Lily crossed her arms over her chest and waited impatiently.

For the first time, James casted his eyes away from Lily and towards the floor, and his hand began to make its way to the back of his head. Lily snorted, rolled her eyes, and turned on her heel as soon as she saw that hand make its move. She pushed her way through a few third years unapologetically, something she wouldn't usually do. Ran up the stairs, and slammed the door to her dormitory.

Lily, in her frustration, kicked Alice's robes out of her way and then threw herself into her unmade bed. As she pulled the covers over her head she listened to the rumble of the party downstairs, and tried to stop thinking about whether James Potter stayed at the party without her.

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Well, I like that one better. Mostly because Lily is getting older and more fun to write. If you guys like this one I hope to have the next chapter up before Wednesday. So please tell me what you think. 

Peace and Love, Mercedes.


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